The Things I Carry

Bar Manager (age 34)
Baton Rouge, LA
The flashlight, knives, thumb drive, pen & smartphone are for when I need to get work done. The phone is extremely tiny because big phones aren't as funny.

The lighter is for when I want to harm my lungs for the sake of full-flavored pleasure. It has "F-CK COMMUNISM" engraved on the face, because yes.

The pistols are for if someone wants to harm the rest of me, or anyone else that I'm responsible for. I carry them because they can put holes in things that tend to stop working when you put holes in them; a quality I certainly appreciate in a defensive weapon.

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